Strangely, most of the conflicts I have had to encounter revolve around me and my family; namely my mom, dad and elder brother. Here’s describing just one of the many conflicts –
Ask any Indian parents about their thoughts on the importance of the 12th grade in a student’s life and here’s what you’ll get –“12th grade? That’s the most crucial stage of any child’s career. His/her entire future solely depends on it.” Sounds clichéd doesn't it? Well, my entire 12th grade went about me having to hear this quote on a daily basis, sometimes on an hourly basis as well. It felt like I dint have a life anymore. I was restricted from my tradition of staying at school till 5 just hanging out with friends, parties’, talking on the phone or even watching more than 2 hours of television. Here I must take time to give my parents some credit for not having banned all of these earlier, but nonetheless it seemed ridiculous to me at that point of time. The more my parents kept restricting me, the more I felt like disobeying them. On the contrary, there were times when I realized the gravity of my situation and would study for hours without a break. Even then, my parents would interrupt and ask me to take a break. I was furious and often felt like asking them –“Are you kidding me? You’ll never be happy with what I do, will you?”
However, months later when I got my results, there was no doubt that all their hard work had finally paid. Had it not been for them, I doubt I’d be sitting here, writing a blog for all of you to read in one of the most renowned university. Clearly, throughout the whole period, their motives had been right and my judgment wrong. All they wanted was for me to have a sound education and no unwanted distractions.
Now, looking back, I regret for not having seen things from my parents perspective. Had I done so, I would have actually made things simpler for myself, don’t you think so?
Hi Shruti, I share the same sentiments as you regarding this aspect of interpersonal conflict! Perhaps when we were all younger, we are not very capable at putting ourselves in the shoes of our parents. Our mindset is rather self-centered and usually make decisions based on the short-term perspectives, as opposed to a wider bird's eye view of the situation.
ReplyDeleteHowever I believe such clashes in interests are bits and pieces of growing up and when we become more successful in our lives, we grow to become increasingly appreciative of our parents' efforts or persistence in the past.
Hi Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteYes, what you pointed out is entirely true. We as kids,are always rebellious and are very eager to carve our own path. As a result, every time our parents/elders give us advice, we feel we are being constantly monitored and not trusted. It's only when we cross the teenage age, that the importance of their advice dawn's upon us.
But apart from just advice, a lot of conflicts arise because we feel that our parents just can't understand us. Do you think the generation gap also has a big role to play with regard to conflicts with parents/elders?
Hey!!!
ReplyDeleteI think this is the situation in most of the houses in India,where the parents become more stressed than the kid who is going to write the exam.They just want us to do well and they show all their concern in the form of constraints that they impose on us all of a sudden. Now I do realise that they were very genuine in making such demands though I failed to recoginse this fact at that very moment and often ended up quarreling with them.
I don't think generation gap can be a reason because they let us have had all the fun in life,but the only thing is that they no longer want us to waste our time like that rather would like us to spend it for academics ,which of course is acceptable
Regards
Nivetha
Hi Nivetha !
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting on my blog post !
It is true that all parents motives are right. All parents want their kids to take the right path in life and succeed. However, I guess, it's the manner in which they put it across that seems unacceptable to us as kids.
Also, one thing to note is that, as kids, we tend to do things that we are particularly forbidden from. :)
I guess parenting is an art that takes time to master.
Warm regards
Shruti